military.

This is something I've been wanting to write about for the longest time.

I know a couple of people who are in the military and unlike anybody else, I hold them closest to my heart.

The first guy I ever fell deeply in love with was in the military. He left for deployment for about a year. I stayed there with him, I didn't think of any other guy. I didn't think of anybody else. I prayed for him and he stayed on my mind through the whole time. Yes it was extremely hard but you have to realize that if you have a boyfriend or even a friend in the military, they suspect you to be there when they get home. Of course, I didn't get the chance to write him letters but there was one time that I actually did write him a letter, I just never got the chance to send it to him. Shortly afterwards, he returned. He was a change man though. Not changed in a good way but in actually a bad way. His attitude was completely different & he just said he didn't feel the same way for me. I wasn't mad. Of course, I was devastated but yet I understood that he went through all that & I was young. He didn't want me to sit around and wait for him for him to get home. Needless to say, I do miss him & he'll always be held close to my heart.

Through out the years I've meet so many men that are in the military & when ever there is something on TV or so that resembles a man leaving his family or his loved one to fight over seas or be shipped on a deployment, I get weak because of what I went through with Mar & to know of families having to go through that.

Right now, I have a BFF who is going to be deployed in October. The guy I'm falling for, he's in the army reserves. Through all the friendships I've gone through, those two are the ones I hold closest to me because I promised them through anything, I will be there. People don't understand what military men and women go through when they get deployed, they have to leave their families, their girlfriends/wives their children and such to fight for them. They see death, they see turmoil & they see so many things that they try to protect you from. They are fighting for YOU. They are there with you in spirit and they will always come back to you.

It bothers me to see people freak out because of the little things in their daily lives. They freak out if they get pregnant, not saying it's a small thing but still, they freak out because they can't find a job, they do all this freaking out & men & women over seas are fighting for their lives. They can't see their families & all they have is words on a paper & little wallet sized pictures to live for & they won't be able to see their families for months, maybe years & they strive for the promise of having somebody to come home to. I promised so much to Nathan (bff) because I don't want him to feel alone when he leaves.

I hold the military & people in the military close to my heart.

I will never understand what they go through, but I know I'll be here for Manny & Nathan when they come back.