day two.

your crush.

-I feel extremely guilty for writing this for the fact that I'm engaged and this isn't to the one I'm engaged to.

dear crush,

i've known you since high school and you still have the affect on me from the first day we met. i felt horrible when we had our falling out and after that day, there hasn't been a day that I thought of you. the way you make me smile is incredible and I'm glad your in my life instead of out of it. I was looking forward to going to college with you but i'll wait a year. I hope you never read this because i know it will raise the risk of losing you again. from the first day I met you, i knew i wanted you in my life forever.

you went from being this person that I seen every day, my only reason for my attendance at school to my best friend, to an ex-best friend and now your becoming my friend again. everything about you is amazing even if you don't see it in yourself. you make me laugh like no other. you put up with me and my crazy theories and unlike many other men, you notice when something changes. i wish you would understand that it hurt me when you left me. i was extremely angry at you when you said we couldn't be friends because you were going away to college and you were afraid that i would miss you. because every day you were away from me, i missed you.

you were my first crush in high school and you still are a crush. i know you'll always just be a crush but i know you'll always be in my life now because i'm never letting you go. i love having you in my life and i still wish i can talk to you more and wish i wasn't afraid of texting you because i'm also very afraid you will leave again.

so please, don't leave.

-jaime.

ps. every time i got off working at the food bank, i drove by your house with loud music to see if you would look out your window and see me and come out and stop me; you never did and i never had my music loud enough for you to hear me.